i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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