Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
