Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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