oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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