we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
