Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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