Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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