I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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