I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize