so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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