woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I want a musical about memes.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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