so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
