Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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