She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize