I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am available for nakedness
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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