your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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