I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
