In the future we'll all be gay
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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