Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize