so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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