We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
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drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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