Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just cropdusted the office
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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