he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
