wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
