the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
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She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
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I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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