Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
