i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
