why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
