we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
