i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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