What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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