things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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