Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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