their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
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Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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