Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
