You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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