I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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