I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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