You made me cry and you don't even care
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
