i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
two words...techno handjob
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
