Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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