O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just found a bag of teeth...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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