An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize