she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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