Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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