me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
