Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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