Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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