So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
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tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.