Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.

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(415): shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does. http://tfl.nu/rw4v

Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (937)
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(573): View more from Missouri

i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

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(573): i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru http://tfl.nu/xoee

Replies (22) Good night (886) Bad night (3514)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid

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(610): oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid http://tfl.nu/g7bt

Replies (6) Good night (2280) Bad night (532)
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(406): View more from Montana

I need a leather bustier to keep them in.

(925): View more from California

Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.

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(406): I need a leather bustier to keep them in. (925): Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that. http://tfl.nu/8m96

Replies (26) Good night (6132) Bad night (776)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk

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(267): you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk http://tfl.nu/tgll

Replies (4) Good night (2940) Bad night (1044)
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(386): View more from Florida

Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.

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(386): Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am. http://tfl.nu/mad5

Replies (7) Good night (1536) Bad night (668)
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(217): View more from Illinois

he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...

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(217): he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon... http://tfl.nu/u7gi

Replies (3) Good night (1512) Bad night (727)
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(206): View more from Washington

I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.

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(206): I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship. http://tfl.nu/s5mh

Replies (17) Good night (2240) Bad night (907)
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(914): View more from New York

Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.

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(914): Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition. http://tfl.nu/iv4o

Replies (20) Good night (2756) Bad night (754)
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(404): View more from Georgia

So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter

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(404): So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter http://tfl.nu/fadw

Replies (3) Good night (332) Bad night (774)
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(727): View more from Florida

I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.

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(727): I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly. http://tfl.nu/hgem

Replies (6) Good night (1467) Bad night (258)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.

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(708): I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask. http://tfl.nu/zz6r

Replies (7) Good night (1132) Bad night (494)
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(989): View more from Michigan

In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.

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(989): In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend. http://tfl.nu/1na1

Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (264)
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(301): View more from Maryland

The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.

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(301): The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces. http://tfl.nu/0f9r

Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (346)
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(440): View more from Ohio

She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot

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(440): She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot http://tfl.nu/ybed

Replies (5) Good night (438) Bad night (649)

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