Sry I called you an 8
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
