Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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