They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
