I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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