Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
