This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
