hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
