you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
