I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
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I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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