yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
so much tequila, so little girl.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize