so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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